New Addition

This is Andy writing. I thought I would describe our recent experience getting…A NEW CAR:

Things have been getting tight in our economy-sized car lately and Anna and I have run into a few conflicts sharing one vehicle. Our tax return was better than expected this year (Thank you, Pres. Bush, for the tax credits) so we decided to look at second vehicle options. I thought we should get an SUV or maybe a crossover; Anna wanted a minivan. After much (mildly heated) discussion, I admitted that Anna was right. The utility and cost benefits of a minivan (more cargo space, lower cost, lower insurance, better gas mileage, etc…) were sufficient to completely subvert considerations of style and dignity.

After a few weeks of thorough internet research by me and extensive discussion with Anna about whether or not to get a minivan at all, and comparing different makes and models, we ended up at the Honda dealership. With Anna holding Ezra and me holding Soren, we found a salesman (“Ben”—a nice, older gentleman) and expressed our interest in the Honda Odyssey. He directed us to the very back of the (rather large) car lot where, of course, the minivans are all parked. We trudged with Ben towards the back of the lot, hauling our flailing children with us. Soren pointed to every other car and said, “I want THIS car” as I tried to patiently explain that Mommy wanted a minivan and we could barely afford one as it was, so he would just have to wait until he saved enough money to buy his own car.

Anna quickly fell in love with a “Slate Green Metallic” (which actually looks like a light bluish-gray color) Odyssey. Ben explained how popular the color is with mothers and how it hides dirt well. We identified the trim level and features we wanted (or, rather, didn’t want). Next, Anna examined the interior color options, and chose gray over olive (which actually looks like a tan-ish light gray) without even really looking at the olive. Near the farthest corner of the lot, we found Anna’s perfect match and then Ben started the long trek back to the dealership to retrieve the keys so we could get inside. Anna stood looking at the van saying how much she liked it as I tried to grab Soren as he ran around between all the cars. I watched Anna staring at the van and felt myself getting poorer.

Ben came back with the key and opened the van for us to inspect. Soren immediately climbed in and started jumping on the seats as I tried to convince him to keep his feet off the brand new seats. Ben climbed into the driver’s seat while I wrestled with Soren and Anna admired the gray interior. When Ben turned the key, nothing happened. Apparently some other sales “rookie” had left an interior light on and the battery was completely drained. Ben apologized profusely and headed back towards the dealership to get a battery charger, leaving us to look through the interior. At this point we noticed that Ezra had a stinky diaper. I refused to allow the diaper to be changed in the car so Anna found a patch of grass and struggled through a diaper change as Ezra squirmed and tried to eat the lawn. Meanwhile, I attempted to control Soren who had climbed into the front seat and was pushing all the new and mysterious buttons and knobs.

Ben returned, charged the battery and fired up the van. The van shuddered, groaned, and stalled in a shaking last gasp for breath. Ben again apologized profusely and explained that the rookie salesperson had left the van without any gas. We waited patiently as Ben hiked back to the dealership to get a gas can. Meanwhile, Soren found a pile of sand in the parking lot next and, before I could intervene, he picked some sand up and rubbed it on the shiny “Slate Green Metallic” exterior of the van. I scolded Soren and surveyed the damage which, luckily, was limited to very minor scratches on the clearcoat wax finish.

We watched as Ben slowly returned, lugging along a 5 gallon gas can. Ben opened the gas tank and discovered the gas can didn’t have a spout. He tried to pour some in without a spout but only managed to dump gasoline on the side of the van. Meanwhile, I began looking around and found an identical van with “Slate Green Metallic” exterior and a gray interior double parked in the absolute farthest corner of the lot. I vaguely heard Anna saying something in the background as I pointed out my discovery to Ben. Ben returned once again to the dealership (hauling the gas can) to get the keys for the 2nd van. Anna finally got my attention and pointed out that the two vans actually were not identical. Somehow, I’d failed to notice that the 1st van had a gray pinstripe while the 2nd van had a tan pinstripe. Feeling exhausted, I asked Anna if the color of the pinstripe really mattered to her. Sensing my frustration, Anna said she could live with a tan pinstripe.

Ben returned and maneuvered the van out of its double parked position. We all climbed in and drove to the front of the dealership to get the boys’ car seats for a test drive. Anna strapped Ezra’s seat in the van (featuring convenient car seat anchors) and I pulled Soren’s set from our car. His seat was completely covered with an entire box’s worth of crackers and cookie crumbs and who knows what else which I embarrassedly tried to shake off on the ground before putting it in the van. I drove first and was impressed with the seamless Variable Cylinder Management system and almost car like handling. The boys seemed comfortable in the back seat and Soren loved how well he could see out the windows. Satisfied with my test drive, I had to beg and plead and practically order Anna to actually drive the van to see how she liked it before making a purchase decision.

Finally, we went inside to talk numbers with Ben and the Sales Manager (“Tony”). I didn’t realize that this process moves slower than a glacier. I showed Soren the dealership’s aquarium while we waited for the Sales Manager and Ben to look into our financing. Armed with all the information from my internet research, we got a very good price after some negotiation. However, Anna was still unsure about the tan pinstripe and I thought the dealership could give us a slightly better deal. At this point it was getting late and we hadn’t had any dinner, so I kept having to interrupt my discussions with Ben to chase after Soren. Finally, with Soren flailing and kicking around in my arms because he wanted to go see the fish, we told Ben it was getting late and we would have to talk things over and come back another day. As we were leaving, Tony explained that he had run the numbers on the financing using the “Preferred” rate, but there was a possibility that he could squeeze me into the “Super Preferred” rate to get me a better price. Tony said he would look into it and get back to me the next day. We thanked Ben and Tony and left.

Sure enough, Tony called me the next day and let me know he was able to get me the “Super Preferred” rate and a better deal. Anna and I talked it over and decided to return to the dealership to complete our transaction. Anna let me know that she really didn’t like the tan pinstripe at all, so we decided to take a last look at the other colors to see if we really wanted “Slate Green Metallic.” We drove home happily last night with our “Nimbus Gray” Honda Odyssey (with olive interior and tan pinstripes). Of course, "Nimbus Gray" is the color I liked best all along.